Once you've been kicked to the curb like a wet food stamp...

All kinds of possibilities open up. It's time for reinvention. Being single and having no one to impress or disappoint just makes you that much freer. I've been unemployed for a week now, and I'm trying to think in different directions - expand my employment horizons. In all my working life, I still have not found that perfect job - the one that makes getting out of bed in the morning tolerable. (Though I have to admit, working at Godiva in college comes close.)

So last week, I started thinking about what I like to do. I like to read, watch movies, play Scrabble, cook and act. Reading and watching movies is not likely to be lucrative. I mean - I guess I could read for the blind, but what if they wanted me to read nothing but science fiction or training manuals? Besides, that seems like more of a volunteer kind of thing anyway. Watching movies - I guess I could be a critic. Oh ...no way. I am so impressed when anyone does anything (I mean anything at all, let alone make a movie -) that I would be useless. I'd gush and gush. Scrabble - I'm not weird enough to devote my whole life to it. (Anybody happen to catch the movie "Word Wars?") Acting.... yeah, right. But hold on a minute! Baking - now there's something.

In fact - I have already parlayed baking skills into tangible goods. There was a time I was without health insurance, and traded cakes for antidepressants. ( I won't name names, but there is a certain sweet-toothed receptionist at a doctor's office not above taking a bribe.) I also made a friend's wedding cake as a gift, but believe me - buying the toaster would have been A LOT easier. And just last week I plied my physical therapist with cupcakes in the hopes that she would also help me get in shape. "Yes, my knee feels much better, but what are we going to do about these jiggly arms?"

Now I am older, wiser and riddled with experience. PLUS - I own a fancy kitchen aid mixer, thank you very much Gabe.

Perhaps now is the time I try and bake my way in the world.

He used the word, "Bellicose"

I'm up to my ears in affidavits. Just before Christmas, some creep managed to get his hands on my personal information and marched into several stores, opening charge accounts in my name. He then proceeded to charge up a storm. Each time a bill comes in - that is more paperwork I have to fill out. The most recent bill I received was for $2,000, charged to Sears. I know the drill now, so I was filling out the affidavit for that while listening to the Presidential address. And then President Obama used the word, "Bellicose." I put down my pen and thought about how much I love this President. (I think I may have cried a little.) Can you even IMAGINE George "They misunderestimated me" Bush saying something like that? Or even knowing the definition? (And full disclosure here - I had to look up the spelling; I wasn't sure if there was one "L" or two...)

Life is hard right now, even in just my little corner of the world. I recently was laid off, my identity was stolen (...and, by the way - WHO'D WANT IT??!) and I'm recovering from an accident that required knee surgery. But somehow - I think it's going to be ok.

I think our President may be the smartest person in the room. Any room.

And I'm not given to hyperbole, either.

Never saw it coming... or did I??

Like just about every other Tom, Dick and Mary, I got the boot from my job last week. Wednesday, in fact. And ironically - I felt pretty good that morning. Optimistic, even - which is NOT my default position. The company was getting ready to launch a blog. Everyone was encouraged to contribute. Finally, I thought, here is something I could do! (I was the oldest receptionist on Broadway and deeply bored.) I decided to write the daily horoscope.

Wednesday, February 4:

Aries- March 21 - April 20 Do NOT wear brown socks today.
(If you are already wearing brown socks, hotfoot it down to
Duane Reade to remedy the matter.

Taurus - April 21 - May 21 Your best bet for lunch? Tuna on rye.

Gemini- May 22 - June 21 Sometimes just parting your hair on the other side gives you a totally new look! Why not give it a whirl?

Cancer- June 22 - July 22 JUST LET IT GO! That’s all I’m saying.

Leo - July 23 -August 21 Sometimes, you just need to apologize – even if it’s not your fault.

Virgo - August 22 - September 23 Complacency is underrated.

Libra - September 24 - October 23 DID YOU CHECK THE STOVE?????

Scorpio-October 24 - November 22 Someone may have put a curse on
you. Just to be on the safe side, wear pajamas inside out to bed tonight.

Sagittarius November 23 - December 22 Nobody likes a know-it-all, so keep some of it to yourself.

Capricorn – December 23 - January 20 Sometimes you feel like a nut – sometimes you don’t.

Aquarius- January 21 - February 19 You look terrific today! Ask somebody out, ask for a raise, ask someone to marry you – you can’t go wrong! (And there’s no harm in asking…)

Pisces- February 20- March 20 Today is not a good day for you, I advise you to lay low. (And avoid Aquarians like the plague – you could end up in a mess of hot water!


My Birthday is February 27th, I'm Pisces.

My career as a receptionist may be down the toilet, but if I were Jeanne Dixon - I'd be watching my back! Um...I just had a hunch that she might be dead, and that is true. Jeanne Dixon went to her reward in 1997. (Just further proof of my extraordinary gift.)