Never saw it coming... or did I??

Like just about every other Tom, Dick and Mary, I got the boot from my job last week. Wednesday, in fact. And ironically - I felt pretty good that morning. Optimistic, even - which is NOT my default position. The company was getting ready to launch a blog. Everyone was encouraged to contribute. Finally, I thought, here is something I could do! (I was the oldest receptionist on Broadway and deeply bored.) I decided to write the daily horoscope.

Wednesday, February 4:

Aries- March 21 - April 20 Do NOT wear brown socks today.
(If you are already wearing brown socks, hotfoot it down to
Duane Reade to remedy the matter.

Taurus - April 21 - May 21 Your best bet for lunch? Tuna on rye.

Gemini- May 22 - June 21 Sometimes just parting your hair on the other side gives you a totally new look! Why not give it a whirl?

Cancer- June 22 - July 22 JUST LET IT GO! That’s all I’m saying.

Leo - July 23 -August 21 Sometimes, you just need to apologize – even if it’s not your fault.

Virgo - August 22 - September 23 Complacency is underrated.

Libra - September 24 - October 23 DID YOU CHECK THE STOVE?????

Scorpio-October 24 - November 22 Someone may have put a curse on
you. Just to be on the safe side, wear pajamas inside out to bed tonight.

Sagittarius November 23 - December 22 Nobody likes a know-it-all, so keep some of it to yourself.

Capricorn – December 23 - January 20 Sometimes you feel like a nut – sometimes you don’t.

Aquarius- January 21 - February 19 You look terrific today! Ask somebody out, ask for a raise, ask someone to marry you – you can’t go wrong! (And there’s no harm in asking…)

Pisces- February 20- March 20 Today is not a good day for you, I advise you to lay low. (And avoid Aquarians like the plague – you could end up in a mess of hot water!


My Birthday is February 27th, I'm Pisces.

My career as a receptionist may be down the toilet, but if I were Jeanne Dixon - I'd be watching my back! Um...I just had a hunch that she might be dead, and that is true. Jeanne Dixon went to her reward in 1997. (Just further proof of my extraordinary gift.)